New Year’s Day for me lands much differently than many.  I find myself wanting quiet relaxation and inward reflection rather than celebrating and doing.  Winter in general is a time for all of us to turn inward to reflect on what has come over the past months while we integrate and assimilate what we have learned.

I’ve sat down to write this blog post countless times and every single time I found myself staring at a blank page. Ironic when I am trying to write about the process of receiving that I can’t seem to receive the words needed. But that’s just it, it’s not about being in effort or trying at all. The very act of receiving signifies the need for us to surrender for us to let go of the attachment to the outcome and open ourselves up, create a clear channel to receive whatever it is we need. It seems this time of year that we should all be good at receiving, most of the holiday season is about giving and receiving gifts, but so many of are not capable of it.

“What the heck are the divine feminine and masculine?”

“Why is it important and what does it have to do with manifesting abundance?” 

“Do men and women carry both energies?”

These are common questions I receive from my students and clients when I speak about the terms “divine feminine” and “divine masculine.” These terms have little to do with gender and gender roles. 

Regardless of your gender identity, you contain both energies at all times in different levels or quantities.  What these terms are really code for is this: our ability to give and to receive, to be in effort or to be in ease.

Have you ever felt you should be so completely happy with your life and everything you’ve achieved but somehow, deep down, feel unfulfilled and empty? I certainly have. When I was finally able to admit that to myself, it initiated quite a journey of personal transformation.

What if we loved the endings we experience as much as the beginnings?  Recently as I have navigated endings of relationships, projects and other chapters in my life I’ve begun to realize that the beauty lies not in the wondrous excitement of beginnings but in the dark night of the endings.  Those moments where things are falling away and I am confused as to where to go next or what steps to take to make the that future goal happen are when I find the sweetest gift of silence to reflect on the ups and downs of the experience, relationship or chapter that is closing.  To reflect on the truths unveiled, the lies released from my space, the growth and the change. I take time in that moment to appreciate that I am alive and well enough to have chapters finishing while new ones are just aching to begin.

I used to say that I didn’t pull the relationship card in this lifetime but the truth is I did, we all did. None of us are exempt from the work related to our relationship house. Just like our actual home we have to care for our relationship house consistently. We have to clean it and honor it like our sacred space. We all arrive in this world with some level or relationship mess to clean up simply because we are born from two people who were in some level of relationship when they created us. At a minimum we have learned behaviors and programs picked up from our parents that impact many if not all of our relationships. Even if we had the best of role models in our parents we all carry some level of relationship work to be done, even if its just the relationship with ourselves that needs to be cared for. So even if we think we have avoided the dramas of serious relationship issues because as we compare ourselves to others we’ve got it “easy”, the reality is we all have work to do in this arena.

As my heart opening process has continued over the last couple of weeks, my guides have been showing me more and more about how to live in my heart. In my last blog post I wrote about the “Open Hearted Warrior” . I shared some of the characteristics of the OHW (read it here). Today I want to share how you can become an Open Hearted Warrior.

Do you associate an open heart with a lack of boundaries and protection? Do you believe that being open hearted makes you vulnerable?

Most of us guard our heart more closely than we guard our wallets.  We hide from and avoid people, situations and things that may hurt us.  We shield ourselves from experiences that might impact us in a negative way.  But what if we could experience open hearted joy with wild abandon while still holding healthy energetic boundaries?  It is possible and this is what I call being an Open Hearted Warrior (OHW).

It’s only been a year.  I keep reminding myself of that over and over again.  Exactly one year ago today I found out that I was laid off from my big shiny corporate job.  It was the day before we left for our annual trip to YogaJam in Floyd, Va.  The moment we showed up at the festival I stepped out of the RV and sprained my ankle badly.  So I got to sit and watch everyone else do yoga all weekend while I stewed in my crap.  My phone doesn’t work in Floyd so I couldn’t even distract myself with Facebook.  It was freaking miserable, but it was exactly what I needed.  

What happens when you say yes to the universe?  Amazing, unbelievable, life altering things happen.  

Recently I asked the universe for support with getting more people to experience my work in a way that didn't make me feel uncomfortable about putting myself out there. And amazingly within a week that support showed up.  

But then the universe said to me, "Ok now I've given you what you asked for are you ready to receive it?"  Well my friends, that was the million dollar question.

The title of this article pretty much sums up my Lion's gate experience.  Today marks the pinnacle, the peak, of this energy and despite all my preparations, despite all my pre-processing it has still rocked my world.  Things that have been long since forgotten have resurfaced, old patterns in personal life and work life have come quite literally roaring forward blocking my view, blocking my perspective on all the work I have done so far.  For moments I forget that I have been on this journey of healing for over 12 years. I forget that I have walked through freaking fire to get here, I forget that I am in charge of my own destiny.  I regress into feelings of loneliness and sadness that rips me open allowing me to bear my soul to the universe and ask "What's next?".  

A number of important things happen in our galaxy around the Lion’s Gate opening.  The clearest of all is the pulling of Sirius – the brightest star we can see – towards Earth. At peak alignment, which happens on August 8th, Sirius lines up directly with the pyramids in Giza.

Here’s some info about the Lion’s gate and what it means astrologically:

Every year about this time I drop into what I affectionally call the "Summer Blah".  Unlike many individuals who get depressed in the winter months I find myself down and out in the summer months.  This started when I was suffering from Grave's disease many years ago.  Grave's is a thyroid disease that caused by hyperthyroidism and one of the main side effects is a complete and utter sensitivity to heat.  I spent several years getting this disease under control and during that time the summer months were gruesome.  There are only so many layers of clothing you can take off and be allowed in public.  Now that Grave's disease is behind me I still find myself being down in the summer months.  Part of it is a familiar fear and dread of the heat, but It's shifted for me over the years and I have recently realized that the primary reason I seem to be down is I actually love the idea of hibernation and self discovery that naturally occurs in the winter months.